That is ONE!

A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had grown tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it just to live in it all alone. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Without haste, he sent for one and on the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for the nearest train station.
After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags into the wagon and then headed for their honeymoon home. They had traveled only two miles when the horse stumbled.  The rancher got out and whipped the horse to its feet. He looked at the horse and said, "THAT'S ONE", and got back in the wagon.  He then smiled at the woman and continued on their way.
They had traveled only another two miles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagon to whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THAT'S TWO".  Then He took his seat beside his new bride and continued on their way.
After traveling another two miles the horse stumbled for the third time. The rancher got out of the wagon carrying his rifle, he walked up to the horse and shot it right between the eyes, saying, "THAT'S THREE".  He turned to the wagon only to hear his new bride say, "why in the hell did you do that for, now we have to walk". The rancher turn to the woman and said "THAT'S ONE".

Very Short Lists

Very Short Lists:

1. List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors
2. List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran
3. List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery
4. List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service
5. List of Home cures for Ebola Virus
6. List of Homeless Boston Debutantes
7. List of Catholic Abortion referral services
8. List of Women Rabbi's and assistant's
9. List of Women Popes, Cardinals & Bishops
10. List of Men's Rape assistant groups
11. List of Battered Men's Help Groups
12. List of Cuban registered voters
13. List of Libyan registered women voters
14. List of Libyan Licensed women truck drivers
15. List of Libyan women lawyers
16. List of Libyan women with PHD's
17. List of Libyan Women Service Clubs
18. List of interstate Highways with no Numbers
19. List of U.S. Cops who have never eaten a doughnut
20. List of People who have survived going over Niagara Falls
21. List of People who have been in a UFO and are not crazy
22. List of People who can whistle while drinking beer
23. List of Pregnant Men
24. List of Men who wash dishes, do the laundry & iron at the same time
25. List of Women who drink 24 beer while watching 3 football games
26. List of Women who can out shoot, & skate Wayne Gretzky
27. List of Licensed flyable Airplanes with no wings
28. List of Blind Licensed Drivers in Calif.
29. List of Midgets over 6 foot tall
30. List of living trees made of plastic

Blonde on a Horse

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was now dragging her. She finally got back on the horse with a broken ankle, bruises all over, and she was bleeding from three different spots. Finally, the horse came to a complete stop. Thank goodness that the manager of the K-mart came out and shut the machine off.