Christmas Trees Better

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman:

1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
3. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
4. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

Men & Women Compared!

NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.  But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.  The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!
DRESSING UP:

A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
LOOKS:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (I invite any woman to prove me wrong! :)

Women's Hockey

There's only one reason women's hockey is a sport - the hooking.