Princess and Frog

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought, "I don't freakin' think so!"

The Scientists and the Mermaid

Three scientists decided to go fishing one day.  They packed up all of their gear and headed down to the lake.  They were having terrible luck, and weren't catching a thing.  But all the sudden, one of the scientists feels a pull at his line. He shouts out, "I got something, I got something!"  So he reels his catch in and much to his surprise, it's a mermaid. The mermaid tells the scientists, "If you let me go, I will grant you each one wish."  Well they think that's a pretty good deal, so they agree.
The first scientist, the one who caught the Mermaid, tells her, "I want you to double my IQ." The Mermaid says, no problem, snaps her fingers, and suddenly he's solving all of these problems they had been working on for months.
The next scientist thinks that's pretty neat, so he tells the Mermaid, "I want you to triple my IQ."  So the Mermaid says, "No problem." snaps her fingers once again, and now this scientist is finding cures for AIDS and Cancer.
So the last scientist is really excited about all of this. He tells the Mermaid, "I want you to quadruple my IQ."  The Mermaid looks at him and says, "Are you sure about this? I'm not so sure you want to do that."  But the scientist is stubborn and tells her, "You granted the other guys wishes, now grant mine or we're not letting you go.  "So the Mermaid sighs and says, "Whatever you want."
She snaps her fingers and the scientist turned into a woman!

More M & M's?

Q: Why don't men eat more M & M's?
A: They are too hard to peel!