Girls and Pianos

Q: Why are girls like pianos?
A: When they're not upright, they're grand...

In Romance Novels

Q: Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
A: In the pages of a romance novel.

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

1. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
2. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
3. Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!
4. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
5. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
6. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
7. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.