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Sex Jokes
Worm Experiment
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day:
First worm - dead Second worm - dead. Third worm - dead. Fourth worm - alive. Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!
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Sensitive
Q: What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick?
A: Nothing. They all make woman's eyes water.
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Household Items
Back in the '70s, days of conspicuous (ahem) consumption, Hugh Hefner was showing a friend around the Playboy Mansion. At one point, Hefner turned to his friend, and said, "Did you ever hear this joke? A woman receives flowers from her boyfriend. She turns to her friend, and says, `Oh, great. Now I'll have to spend the whole weekend with my legs in the air.' `Why?' says her friend. `Don't you have a vase?'" They laugh, and then Hefner opens a door with a flourish. Inside, women are reclining on couches, naked as jaybirds, with flowers protruding from their vagina's. Hefner and his friend have another laugh and are flirting with the girls when suddenly, from the next room, there is a bloodcurdling shriek!" What was that?" starts Hefner's friend. "Oh, probably just the umbrella stand..."
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