Geriatric Lovemaking

You know your grandparents are doing it when...

1. A pair of edible Depends is found on bedroom floor.
2. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
3. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn".
4. Granny is found cuffed to her walker.
5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
6. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.
7. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith.
8. You've just seen the photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of the May issue of Hustler.
9. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
10. Their Craftmatic adjustable bed is set for "doggy style".

Dr. Dre High Sperm Count

Q: How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
A: Eminem has to chew before swallowing.

Two Caged Canaries

Once upon a time there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said, "Since we're in this together, why don't I move over to your side of the cage!" The female canary replied, "No, thanks!!" So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked, "I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don't we get to know each other first." To which she replied again, "No, thanks!" Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated, "Well, could we at least talk?" This time she replied, "Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called, "Chirpies' and I hear it is untweetable."