Sex Jokes

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Professor of Dirty Jokes

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started. The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, "Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?" With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. "Wait, ladies," cried the professor, "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"

Anonymous

Murphy's Bar

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.  They're having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy two drinks and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"
The others agree that sounds like a good place.
Then the American says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."
Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

7 Kinds of Passionate Women

The seven kinds of passionate women
1.The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2.The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3.The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4.The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5.The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6.The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
7.The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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