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Sex Jokes
Piss Your Girlfriend Off
Q: How do you piss your girlfriend off when your having sex?
A: Call her up
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Cider
A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom.
"To take the pain away," sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. "It doesn't work!" she yelled.
"What do you mean?" asked Mom.
"Well," sniffed the little girl, "I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
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Snakes And Bushes
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
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