Sex Jokes

JokerZ offers a HUGE collection of funny dirty jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers. Over 3000 of the best dirty jokes will have you ROFL. Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites.

How did I get here?

A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”

Categories: Sex Jokes , Drug Jokes (Marijuana Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
Anonymous

Sex Signals

Lisa complained to her friend Suzie how she sometimes found it difficult to initiate sex with her husband. "I know a simple trick,” Suzie said. “Whenever I want to have sex with Ralph, I gently put my hand on his dick and say, "Your dick is very cold, do you want me to warm it up for you?" And that's it! Works every time!
Lisa was impressed and said she would try it when her husband got home that night. When they met the next day, Suzie asked how it went. Lisa immediately started crying. “We’re getting a divorce!” she sobbed. “What? What happened?” Suzie asked concerned. “I tried to do your trick, but as I laid my hand on his dick, it was actually quite warm. I didn’t know what to say, so I asked him, "Why isn't your dick cold, like Ralph’s?”

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Woman Visits the Therapist

A lady visits her therapist. "I think my husband is a son of a bitch." The therapist asks why she thinks that. She replies, "Well, he kisses me." The therapist kisses her and says, "I kissed you, and I'm not a son of a bitch." She replies, "Yes, but he feels me up." The therapist proceeds to feel her up. He returns to his seat and says, "I felt you up, and I'm not a son of a bitch." The lady replies, "But he -- you know -- has sex with me." So the therapist goes over and has sex with her. After they're finished, the therapist says, "See, I just had sex with you, and I'm not a son of a bitch." The lady says, "Yes, but my husband has AIDS." The therapist says, "SON OF A BITCH."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (STD Jokes)
Anonymous
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