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Sex Jokes
Teacher's Note
Tommy's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Tommy seems to be a very bright boy but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."
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How did I get here?
A little girl asked her mother how she got here. Her mother, misty-eyed, smiled and replied, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we fucked without a condom.”
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Sex Signals
Lisa complained to her friend Suzie how she sometimes found it difficult to initiate sex with her husband. "I know a simple trick,” Suzie said. “Whenever I want to have sex with Ralph, I gently put my hand on his dick and say, "Your dick is very cold, do you want me to warm it up for you?" And that's it! Works every time!
Lisa was impressed and said she would try it when her husband got home that night. When they met the next day, Suzie asked how it went. Lisa immediately started crying. “We’re getting a divorce!” she sobbed. “What? What happened?” Suzie asked concerned. “I tried to do your trick, but as I laid my hand on his dick, it was actually quite warm. I didn’t know what to say, so I asked him, "Why isn't your dick cold, like Ralph’s?”
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