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Sex Jokes
Hillbilly Threesome
A city girl was driving back to town after attending a family funeral when she ran out of gas. It was getting late so she asked two good ol' boys sitting on the stoop of a mobile home where she could get some gas. "Well," said one, "the fillin' station ain't open 'till tomorrie, but I reckon you kin stay the night with me & Billy-Bob here." She accepted, only to be told that there was only one bed, which both Billy-Bob & Billy-Ray slept in. Thinking it might be fun, she went ahead anyway. When all three of them were all tucked in, they were just about to jump her bones when she halted proceedings. Pulling out two condoms, she said, "You nice boys wouldn't want me to get pregnant, would you? Here, put these on." They did. The three of them proceeded to have the time of their lives. In the morning the car got gassed up and our girl went back to the city. Three months later, Billy-Bob and Billy-Ray were sitting on the stoop, chewin' on some RedMan. "D'ya remember that city girl who stopped by here a while back?" asked Billy-Ray. "Ah sure do," said Billy-Bob, with a smirk. "D'ya really care if she gets pregnant?" "Nah," said Billy-Bob. "Well, lets get these STUPID things off of our dicks!"
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Bedside Confessions
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.
Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
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God & The Two Gifts
When God created the earth, then Adam and Eve, he found he had two baubles left over. He came to Adam and Eve and said, "I have two things left. One is the gift to piss while standing up." Adam got very excited, "Oh, that would be so great, I would really like that. If I'm out in the fields, I can just go right there." So Eve smiled and said, "Okay, it sounds like he really wants that." As Adam tried out his new gift, he asked out of curiosity, "What was the other gift?". "Oh," God said, looking at Eve with a smile, "Multiple orgasms!".
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