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Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree. "Ah-ha....!" The Big Bad Wolf said, "Now I've got you and I'm going to eat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!" Little Red Riding Hood said angrily, "Damn it, doesn't anybody simply fuck anymore?"
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Three Chinese Tortures
One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a room to stay in. The manager gives him a room and warns him not to mess around with his daughter or he'll get the "Three Chinese Tortures." On his way to his room the man sees the manager's daughter. She's very beautiful and he figures he'll endure whatever he has to. So he has his way with the daughter and retires to his room. The next morning when he wakes up he finds a rock on his chest. There is a note on it, reading: "FIRST CHINESE TORTURE: ROCK ON CHEST." The man laughs and throws the rock out the window. Then he sees a sign on the nightstand that says: ''SECOND CHINESE TORTURE: LEFT NUT TIED TO ROCK." He goes flying out the window after the rock but, as he does, he spots a sign on the windowsill that proclaims: "THIRD CHINESE TORTURE: RIGHT NUT TIED TO BED POST."
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