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Chinese dog treat
There were three men: an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy. They were having a competition to see which one could walk his dog over the desert without needing a drink. So the Englishman sets off, but he only gets half way. Then the Scotsman sets off, and he only gets half way too. But the Chinese guy manages to get all the way across the desert. The Englishman and the Scotsman asked him how he could possibly do that without any water? "Me Chinese. Me not Silly, Me stick mouth round doggy's willy"
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Oh Say Can't You See
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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Anheuser Busch
Helga hangs the wash out to dry, then goes downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar. "Bartender," she says. "I vill have unt cold beer, please." The bartender asks, "Anheuser Busch?" "Vell, fine, tanks," she says, "Just ah leetle svetty."
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