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Sex Jokes
Naughty Claus
Q: Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
A: Because she was a Ho Ho Ho.
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How Older Guys Pick Up Chicks
I'm not the best looking guy. Some would say I'm a little frayed around the edges these days. But, I have a nice motorcycle, a little money and I spend most of my time casually riding from place to place.
I met a nice looking girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us. She did this cute little dance then immediately dropped to her knees and lay on the grass at my feet.
As we lay there making love, I thought, "Damn, these taser guns are really worth the money!"
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Restroom Wall Graffiti
You can learn a lot from reading the graffiti in a bathroom, library or other public area...
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's rest room, Champaign, Ill. If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here - Your asshole is in Washington!
Men's rest room, Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Wash. Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, N.C. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C. Remember, it's not "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
The Irish Times, Washington, D.C. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, La. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Men's rest room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N.C. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Ariz. A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's rest room, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Tex. Watch out for gay limbo dancers..
Inside toilet stall door, men's rest room. Express Lane: Five beers or less.
Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, Ariz. You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in women's rest room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA. No wonder you always go home alone..
Sign over mirror in men's rest room, Ed Debevic's,Beverly Hills, CA. What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
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