Religion Jokes - Heaven Jokes

Heaven Pick Up Line

Q: What time do you have to be back in Heaven?
A: Because I have to be back in my grave in about six hours.

Categories: Pickup Lines (Universal) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Muslim Heaven

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven." The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!" St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?" The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!" St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!" The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!" St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!" So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says, "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days the Jesus man got up, went out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was 6 more weeks of winter!"

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Easter Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes)
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Anonymous

Payment for Killing Birds

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there. ''Why?'' he asks. St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why. St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.'' He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?'' ''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous
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