Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
Religion Jokes - Heaven Jokes
God's First Name
This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter is standing at the gate. He says, "If you can answer these three questions I will let you in to heaven. First, how many seconds are in a year? Second, how many days of the week have a 'T' in them? Third, what is God's first name? You have until tomorrow to answer these questions."
The guy comes back the next day, St. Peter asks the first question and the guy says, "Twelve." "Twelve?" says St. Peter, "how did you get that?" The man replied, "January 2nd, February 2nd and so on." Peter thinks it over and says, "Well that is not exactly what I meant, but it's technically correct, so I will give you credit." Then St. Peter asks the second question and the guy answers, "Two." St. Peter asks how he got that answer and the man explains, "Today and Tomorrow." St. Peter again admit that wasn't what he had in mind, but he'll accept that. Peter then asked the third question; God's first name. The man says, "Howard. " St. Peter, really perplexed, inquires how the guy got that and the man says, "You know, it's in the prayer: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...?"
- 1
- 1
- 0
Two Things To Worry About
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about; but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about: either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about; if you die, there are only two things to worry about: either you will go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But, if you go to hell you'll be so darned busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry...
- 0
- 2
- 1
Jonah and the Whale
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
- 1
- 3
- 2
