Perspective

A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through hallways on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses, "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."

Acne and Catholic Priests

Q: What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12!

Lawyer and Pope go to Heaven

A lawyer and the Pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. "Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings," said St. Peter.
They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, "Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I get?"
St. Peter looked at the Pope and said "True, you have done great things. But we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first lawyer ever to make it up here."