Nuns Waiting to Get Into Heaven

A group of nuns died and are at the door to heaven. The guard explains to them that because they were supposed to stay pure while they were on Earth, only the ones that haven't touched a penis could go in.  The ones that were left outside had to make a line and one by one put holy water on the part of them that had touched a penis.
The first one only places her finger in the holy water. The second places her hand in the holy water. Then they hear a commotion as a nun tries to get to the beginning of the line and is stopped by the guard who asks her, "What is going on?" And the nun replied, "I just wanted to gargle first before Elena puts her ass in!"

Predator

Q: Why did the Muslim man go into the elementary school?
A: To pick up his wives

Nun Beer

Two nuns were shopping at Kroger's.  As they passed the cold beer cooler one nun commented that it would be nice to have a cold beer or two on this hot summer evening.  The other nun agreed, "Indeed it would, sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer here as it would likely cause a scene at the checkout."  "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied.  She added a six-pack of Blue Moon to her cart and headed for the checkout.  The cashier had a surprised look on her face when the nuns handed her the beer and gave them a quizzical look. The nun said, "We use beer for washing our hair back at the convent, we call it a 'Catholic Shampoo'.
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and pulled out a large bag of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer.  She then looked at the nuns, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house."