Radical Muslim in a Bar

A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?" The cleric responds, "A gruesome puddle of your filthy infidel blood!"

Irish Nuns

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at traffic lights, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, yer bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross." Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off yer bloody little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Immaculata looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Was that cross enough?"

Confucius - Church

Confucius say...
Fart in church and you’ll sit in your own pew.