Blonde Confessing Sins

A blonde girl went to confess her sins. "Father, please pray for me for I've sinned," she said. The priest asked, "What did you do my child?" "I was driving and it was dark and I ran over a horse." "Oh," said the priest and he continued to ask, "did you tell the owner?" "I'm afraid that's impossible," said the girl. "Why is it?" the priest asked. "'Because I think the owner was riding the horse when I hit the horse." "Oh Lord, have mercy," said the priest gasping.

God Invented Lawyers

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Jewish Names

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a mostly deserted beach at Stimson Beach. She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.  "How are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book. "I love the beach.  Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away two years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that.  My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered.  "Do you live around here?" She asked. "Yes, I live over in San Francisco," he answered, and again he resumed reading. Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life. When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied,  "How did you know my name was Katz?"