Jewish Study

Q: Why don't Jewish girls study on their period?
A: Concentration Cramps

Confession

A man goes to his local church to confess...
Man: Father, I have sinned.
Priest: And how how have you sinned?
Man: I have stolen someone's bike, and am now here to give it to you.
Priest: No, no - don't give it to me, return it to the person you have stolen it from and you shall be forgiven.
Man: I did that, but he said he didn't want it.
Priest: In that case, you may keep the bike for yourself.
The man leaves, and after the day is over, the priest comes out of the church to find his bike missing.

Aroma TV

My Jewish girlfriend got mad when I let out a fart while watching TV. I said, honey, a little gas never hurt anyone.