Walking on Water

One fine day, a priest, a rabbi, and a high priestess decide to all go fishing. They manage to get to the water, and off they go. One hour later, the high priestess says, "I think I forgot the food!" She steps off the boat, walks across the water, gets the picnic basket, and walks back!
As they are eating, the priest thinks, "What a display. Jeez, where does she get off walkin' on the water?" Right then, the rabbi says, "Oye! I forgot the drinks." He steps right off the boat, and walks across the water to get the drinks.
By this time, the priest is very frustrated! He excuses himself, and as the priest steps out of the boat, he falls in the water. The high priestess turns to the rabbi and says, "You think we should have told him about the rocks?"

Let Ryan Do It

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to his younger brother & said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

Muslim Grandfather

A Muslim family was considering putting their grandfather Mohammed in a nursing home. All the Muslim facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Christian home. After a few weeks in the Christian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. "How do you like it here?" asked the grandson" It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa. We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you since you are a little different from everyone." "Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Mohammed said with a big smile." There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro! There is a judge in here - he's 95 year old.. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor. There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor. And me. I haven't had sex for 45 years, and they still call me The Fucking Muslim.