49ers New Recruits

Q: Why did the 49ers hire two nuns and a prostitute?
A: They wanted two tight ends and a wide receiver.

The Essential Difference

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orangutang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

Equality

I've heard opinions of many people in my life who are under the perception that Irish Catholics are hands down the most prejudice people on this earth. Well, I'm here to set that rumor straight once and for all. As my Irish born grandmother from Donegal always used to say, ''Why no! How ridiculous! The Irish prejudice? Oh my, that is not true. We think less of all of you equally without regard to who you are!"