The Naming of Jesus

A group of biblical scholars were involved in a heated discussion about how Jesus of Nazareth was named. How did he become known as the Messiah, or Christ? One of the scholars argued that the name was a Greek corruption of Aramaic, and purists and fundamentalists ought to use the name Joshua. Another argued that Joshua was Hebrew, not Aramaic, to which a third argued that Hebrew should be used because Jesus was said to be the King of the Jews. The debate went on and on and became more and more sophisticated and obtuse. Finally, an old man known for his wisdom intervened. He informed the group that he knew how Jesus was named. When Jesus was born, a star shown in the sky, and three wise men from the East travelled to Bethlehem. They had travelled for days, suffered great deprivation, and when they finally got to Bethlehem got lost trying to find the manger. Finally, after much ado, and in rather foul moods, they reached the manger and entered the stall. As one of them came through the door, he tripped on the door sill, and fell into the wall hitting his head. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and that is how the baby was named.

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coat.

Priest on Vacation

Two Catholic Priests decided to take a vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them.
They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning Father, Good Morning Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.
They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, after a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.
Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning Father, Good morning Father,' and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'