Waiting Game

Q: What does Melania Trump see in The Donald?
A: Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol.

Marriage Request

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl. That means no sex before marriage. But he doesn't care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
"Hello, sir, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand"
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks "And why is that?"
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh... "Well, its just that mine have gotten tired."

Wife Down

I woke up this morning at 9:00 and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!  I panicked.  I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered, McDonalds serves breakfast all day.