Terrible Curse

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. " This is the Klotschtein diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it." " What's the curse?" the man asked.  "Mr. Klotschtein."

Single women can't fart

Do you know why single women can't fart?
Because they don't get assholes until they get married.

Deputy Visit

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies there.  One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, “Yes, I am.” The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man’s wife. The guy says, “Sure…” and gets a photo to show them. The deputy says, “I’m sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” The guy replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”