Single women can't fart

Do you know why single women can't fart?
Because they don't get assholes until they get married.

Deputy Visit

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff’s deputies there.  One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, “Yes, I am.” The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man’s wife. The guy says, “Sure…” and gets a photo to show them. The deputy says, “I’m sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck.” The guy replies, “I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook.”

Happy To See You

If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.