She Knows

“My girlfriend’s weird. One day she asked me, “If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?” I said, “No.” She said, “Okay, forget it.”

Twins

I just found out that my girlfriend has a twin sister.
I saw her on Tinder.

Flirting

Q: What's the difference between flirting and sexual harassment?
A: Whether or not the woman finds the man attractive.