Particular Kind of Woman

The bachelor who complained that the women he selected would not remain his friend for more than a few weeks was told, "Your problem is that you are looking for a particular kind of woman. You ought to be looking for the kind of woman who is not particular."

Sorry

I upset my hay fever suffering, diabetic girlfriend.
Now I don't know what to buy her to apologize.

A Couple's Skunk

A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."