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Relationship Jokes
Why Divorce Now?
After 40 years of marriage, Jimmy decides to leave Katherine. She starts crying and then asks, "How can you do this, Jimmy? How can you just walk out? The first year we were together, you caught pneumonia and almost died! Who sat by your bed and nursed you back to health? Me! And when you lost half your family in the terrible car crash, who kept you going and kept your spirits up? Me! And when our kids grew up and ran away from home, who sat with you can comforted you? Me! And when you lost everything last year in the fire at the store, who stayed at your side the whole time? Me! How could you leave me, Jimmy? You've been through everything with me." Jimmy replies, "That's just the problem, Katherine! You're just fucking bad luck!"
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May September Marriage
A 90 year old man shows up for a physical. He tells the doctor he is about to marry a 20 year old girl. "Really?" said the doctor. "You're healthy enough, I suppose, but take my advice. If you want a happy marriage, you should take in a boarder. Do you know what I mean?" The old man says, "OK, doc. I'll think about it." Six months later, the doctor sees the old man on the street. He asks him how his new marriage is working out. "Great doc! In fact, my wife is pregnant." The doctor nods knowingly and says, "So you took my advice and took in a boarder?" The old man winked and said, "Yep. And she's pregnant too!"
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Nosy Neighbor
A 12-year-old boy walks up to his Polish neighbor and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife naked!" The guy answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny...I wasn't even home last night!"
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