Honeymoon Suite Vibrating

While inspecting their honeymoon suite, the bride discovers a little box attached to the bed. "What's this for?" she asks her husband. "If you put a quarter in," he says, reaching into his pocket, "the bed starts vibrating." "Save your money," she says. "When you're a quarter in, I start vibrating."

Same Response

My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.

Redneck Chimney

A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys." The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney." The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."