Same Response

My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.

Redneck Chimney

A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys." The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney." The nurse replied, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."

Lemon Pennance

A guy goes into the church confessional and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I slept with five different women last night.” The priest says, “Go home, squeeze five lemons into a glass, and drink it all as fast as you can.” “And I will be forgiven?” asks the man. “No,” the priest says, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”