Ponderings collection 20

• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
• How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
• Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
• Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Wittle Wabbit

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

11 Ponderings Collection

Ponderings Collection

1. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
2. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
3. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
7. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
8. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
9. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
10. Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
11. Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?