Andy Rooney Quotes

• Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
• I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
• I am in shape. Round's a shape!
• Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
• Have you ever noticed that anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster is a maniac.
• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
• Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford Library, the Jimmy Carter Library, the Ronald Reagan Library and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

The Oval Office

So, I recently took a tour of the White House, and on the tour our guide pointed out the new name to the "Oval Office", seems someone liked the name the "Oral Office" better!

Obama's Light Bulb

Q: How many aides does it take to change President Obama's light bulb?
A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.