Grass Roots Support

They just found out Clinton's been stuffing turf in his underpants. They're for grass roots support.

The Whole World Could be Happy

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force One on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.  Bill turned to them and said, "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy." 
Hillary, thinking this was a good idea, replied, "Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy?" 
Al turned to them both and responded, "Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper extremely happy."
Not to be out done, Tipper quipped, "Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy."

Air Force One Crashes

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor. "Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning." "The President of the United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. "He kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is."