Naming Children

After having quadruplets, the mother named them... Adolph, Rudolph, Getoff, and Stayoff.

Mistaken Identity

I was once involved in a case of mistaken identity. It was a good thing, because if they hadn't got the wrong person, I'd be in prison right now.

The Business One - Liners

• The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
• The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
• The business plan you prepare must be a lie; but it must be a detailed and precise lie rather than a vague and general lie.
• The business world worships mediocrity.
• Officially, we revere free enterprise, initiative, and individuality. Unofficially, we fear it.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to...to...uhh...
• The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• The chaos in the universe always increases.
• The chief cause of problems is solutions.
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.