Tuns of Puns

• Our library has so many books they had to put it in a multi-story building.
• I knew a prisoner who crowded his roommates terribly by building a huge aquarium in their room. It was just plain cell-fish of him!
• Smoke dynamite... it'll really blow your mind.
• Scientists report that dieters lost brain cells as well as body weight.
• It's a case of think or slim.
• My camera is broken. But, I won't have a negative attitude - I'll take it to the repair shop and see what develops.
• People think I broke it but the crime isn't so black and white. Ah, I get the picture - I'm being framed!
• A vampire walks into a bar, and asks for a "Large glass of A-positive blood." The bartender looks him square in the eyes, and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your type here!"
• If you shake up a can of beer, and spill it on your stove, do you get foam on the range?
• My cat got stolen. I think it was taken by a purr snatcher.

Come Along

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

Morse Code

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.
Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.