Cashew Fetish

I have a friend whose fetish is cashews. 
He's fucking nuts.

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country: 
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

Breast Pumps

Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.