Business One Liners

• A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.
• A back-scratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.
• A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.
• A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
• A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.
• A bird in the hand is dead.
• A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
• A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.
• A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
• A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Worm Bath

Q:  What do worms leave around their baths?
A:  The scum of the earth!

Business One Liners - Personnel

Cropp's Law: The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.
Bo Diddeley's Observation On The Law: Always take a lawyer with you, and bring another lawyer to watch him.
Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
Deadline-Dan's Demo Demonstration: The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.
Demian's Observation: There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "Abandon hope all ye who enter here".
DeVries's Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.
Dr. Caligari's Comeback: A bad sector disk error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup.