Old Never Dies

Old Soccer Players never die, they just achieve their final goal.
Old Soccer Players never die, they just lose their kick.
Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away.
Old Soldiers never die, they just smell that way.
Old Soldiers never die, young ones do.
Old Sourdoughs never die, they just ferment away.
Old Spelunkers never die, they just cave in.
Old Steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
Old Students never die, they just get degraded.
Old Swimmers never die, they just fall off their blocks.
Old Swimmers never die, they just have a stroke.
Old Swimmers never die, they just kick-off.
Old System Users never die, they just turn to Null.
Old Tanners never die, they just go into hiding.
Old Tape Dispensers never die, they just get used up.

Police Music

A glass container washed up on the beach. Inside was a voucher for a free back rub.
Massage in a bottle.

As the Business Lines Go

• As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
• As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
• Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
• Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups.
• At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.
• Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.
• Bad news drives good news out of the media.
• Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upward from the floor.
• Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination, exercise, and deep psychological trauma. - Chris Jarocha-Ernst
• Be content with what you've got, but be sure you've got plenty.