Company Merger

Q: Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger?
A: The new company's gonna be called FedUp!

Common Sense Business Lines

• Common sense is not so common.
• Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637
• Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)
• Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
• Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
• Confusion creates jobs.
• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
• Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't. 

Proud Father

When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10 lb healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10 lb because he's only 8.6 lb.Next day at work, the father comes in and tells everyone that the baby is only 8 lb. "What do you mean, he was 10 yesterday?" "Umm, well that was before he got circumcised".