Take Them Away

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. ...Nancy Mitford

Having Children

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

Guests for Dinner

There was a little boy who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"