Two Boys Visit Doctor

Two boys are in a doctor's office and one turns to the other and says, "What are you doing here?" The first kid says, "Well, I'm getting my tonsils out." The other kid says, "I had that done. Don't worry, it's not that bad. You get to lay around the house, eat ice cream and not have to talk to anyone." Then the other kid says, "That's good to know. What are you doing here?" The first kid replies, "I'm getting circumcised." The other kid responds, "Oh man, I had that done and it took me a year to learn to walk!"

Aged Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby!?"
And the mother says, "You'll have to wait until the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "Because I forgot where I put it!"