Jokes about Kids

Semantics

Q: What did the boy say when his Mom told him to stop pulling the cat’s tail?
A: I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.

Anonymous

8 Ways You Know Santa Hates Your Kid

8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
3. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the stupid list
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sunday School Comedy!

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely.  It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.  "Momma, look what I found, "the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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