A Kid's View on Marriage

A Kid's View on Marriage
What Exactly Is Marriage?

• "Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents" - Eric, six years old
• "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." - Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to Marry?

• "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." - Kelly, nine years old
• "My mother says to look for a man who is kind... That's what I'll do... I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." - Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married

• "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" -Bert, five years old

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?

• "They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down... It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old
• "My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind." - Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

• "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." - Martin, ten years old
• "Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." - Craig, nine years old

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

• "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." - Allan, ten years old
• "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you... If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." - Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

• "You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan" - Kirsten, ten years old
• "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" - Anita, nine years old
• "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." - Will, seven years old

Little Gregory Wakes Up in the Middle of the Night

Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there is a man in bed with his mom. Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike!"

Advice From Kids

1. "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9
2. "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." - Stephanie, age 8
3. "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." - Lamar, age 10
4. "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes." - Carrol, age 9
5. "Never bug a pregnant mom." - Nicholas, age 11
6. "Don't ever be too full for dessert." - Kelly, age 10
7. "When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him." - Heather, age 16
8. "Never tell your mom her diet's not working." - Michael, age 14
9. "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." - Joel, age 12
10. "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." - Alyesha, age 13
11. "Never try to baptize a cat." - Laura, age 13
12. "Never spit when on a roller coaster." - Scott, age 11
13. "Never do pranks at a police station." - Sam, age 10
14. "Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving." - Rob, age 10
15. "Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do." - Hank, age 12
16. "Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand." - Molly, age 11
17. "Listen to your brain. It has lots of information." - Chelsey, age 7
18. "Stay away from prunes." - Randy, age 9
19. "Never dare your little brother to paint the family car." - Phillip, age 13
20. "Forget the cake, go for the icing." - Cynthia, age 8
21. "Remember the two places you are always welcome - church and Grandma's house." - Joanne, age 1
22. "When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents." - Matthew, age 12