Jokes about Families

Never Left

My Uncle's last request was that he be pickled in alcohol and kept in the front room
He's here, in spirit

Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Did God Make You?

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa. "Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl. "Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days, isn't He?"

Anonymous

Digital Love

Dearest Dad,
I'm coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook and had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of a relationship through Viber.
My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes and a really big wedding. Lots of love and thanks. Your favorite daughter, Lilly
THE RESPONSE
My Dear Lilly,
Like Wow! Really? Cool! and a big whatever... I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell his sorry ass on eBay!
Love, Your Dad

Submitted BY: RK
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