True Story

We took my grandson Alex to the local mall shopping one day, and used a 'kiddy harness' to keep track of him, since he's an active little dickens and loves to walk and explore. As we stood watching the marvel of the escalator, a teenager headed up the stairs and said, quite loudly, "Look at that kid, he looks like a little dog on a leash." Alex promptly looked at him and said, "Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!"

Baby's First Words

A dad was teaching his baby how to talk...
Dad: Say Daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say Daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Fuck, just say Daddy!
Baby: Fuck, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: Fuck!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a bitch.

No Willy

Little boy came into the kitchen and declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."