Their True Intention

One morning a little girl ran inside and said "Daddy, Daddy my sister and the man you hired last week are up on the hay loft in the barn on all that new hay we just bought. She has her dress up and he has his pants down. I think they are about to piss all over that new hay!"

Watch What You Say!

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six- year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife instructed. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner"!

Internet Time

Q: Dad, is it true that spending time on the internet makes you dumber?"
A: "omg son lol"