My Dad's the Best

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.
"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands." "My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands." "I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."

Texas Brothers

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in Texas. One day Trevor rides on his bike into town and he sees a building on fire, so he goes back home and tells his brother, "Herman, Herman there is a fire and people are getting burned!"
His brother says, "Oh, that was on the radio -- that's old news."
So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a bank being robbed, so he rides back home and says, "Herman, Herman there is bank being robbed and people are getting shot and killed!" His brother says, "Oh that was on the radio -- that's old news." So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a pig stuck in a fence and starts to thinkin'... Then he rides home and says, "Herman Herman! I had my first sexual experience today!" His brother says, "In a pig's ass." And Trevor replies, "Oh, you and your stupid radio."

Grosser Than Gross - Grandma

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Kissing your grandmother hello and her tongue slips in!