Cremate Mother In Law

A person receives a telegram informing them about his mother-in-law's death. It also inquires him whether she should be buried or cremated. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes!"

That's Lazy

My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer.

Viagra For The Boy

A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"