Boyfriends Over for Dinner

Three girls asked their mother if they could invite their boyfriends over for dinner. Their mother told them to go upstairs to get ready and to call them. An hour later, when the girls were not downstairs yet, and the boyfriends had still not shown up, the mother went to check on the three girls. She went to the first girl's door and she was laughing. She didn't say anything and she went to the second girl's door. She was crying. She didn't say a word and she went to the third girl's door. The third girl wasn't saying anything. So the mother went back to the first girl's door. "Why are you laughing?" "It's so small it tickles!" She went to the second girl's door and asked her why she was crying. "It's so big, I can't get it out!" She went to the third girl's door and asked her why she wasn't saying anything. "Well," the third girl replied, "you've always told me not to talk with my mouth full!"

Scrotum

A daughter asked her mother, "Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'?" Her mom replied, "Honey, you should have asked me last night, it was on the tip of my tongue.”

Dad Stealing

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.