You Might Be A Redneck 53

You might be a redneck if...

• You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
• You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
• You don't think Jeff's jokes are funny.
• Your house has a kickstand.
• You drive around a parking lot for fun.
• Your girlfriend has ever called YOUR parents "Ma and Pa".
• You have to duct tape your gloves on.
• You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
• Someone says they spotted Bigfoot and you go buy tickets to the tractor pull.
• You think that Marlboro is a cologne.

First Child

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?" He says, "No! This is her husband!"

Brother's Help

Q: Why can't a woman ask her brother for help?
A: Because he can't be a brother and assist her too.